Here is my completed survey for the Gifty Thing:

Please Note: In case you find this a bit intimidating--this is basically a meme. The idea is to give someone some hints about the kinds of things you like so that your gifter can choose something you will enjoy. It's not a shopping list--the idea isn't to get something to fit in *every* category, or for *every* question--it's brainstorming. And of course you can come up with your own category/theme for your giftee. A holiday song might be nice, or a winter-themed story or movie.

Gift/Category Suggestions

Something old - Something New
Something naughty - Something nice
Something soft - Something hard
Something sweet - Something spicy
Something homey - Something far-out,
Something rock - Something scissors - Something paper
Something handmade - Something made by "the man"
Something clean - Something Dirty
Something useless and beautiful - Something useful and beautiful

(If you'd like to suggest or add another category, let us know so everyone else has a chance to choose items representing it too.)

Or, perhaps the entire collection can form a theme :
"Biker Chick Goes to Paris"
"The Seven Deadly Sins"
"Starving Artist"
(perhaps even one of your own invention - it can be unique, but should be somewhat identifiable to your recipient)

Fill in the blanks:

If I could get away with it, I'd steal a well-stocked library, because damn it, it should be mine.

I sometimes buy Christmas baking magazines, because I lust after goodies that look too good to eat.

If you came over to my house to play and broke my glow-in-the-dark crayons, I'd be a little bit mad at you forever.

The colour [blank] should only be used in fungal remedy packaging or if human waste were to be redesigned. Really, I like all colours, as long as they're bright

The colour [see above] makes my heart feel like it is full of happy kittens frolicking in a sunny, grassy meadow.

Coffee makes me break out in gooberous pustules (or else I just don't like it, but I'm too nice to say it.)

I might get sick or die if I touch or ingest coffee (I really, really don't like it), or look at standard-issue parenting magazines.

gives me the heebie jeebies and I might need to seek therapy if I even think about it further.

I love the feel of velvet so much I have a primitive urge to stick some down my pants. [Well, maybe not that much.]

No one should have to watch me eat cookie dough (gross, but true), because really If I were eating some in private, I'd be quite a pig about it.

I would rather chew tinfoil and shave my head with a cheese grater than eat raw vegetables (sadly for my health).

I DO/DON’T follow recipes because I'm anal that way, although once I know it fairly well I will deviate. I actually have several cookie recipes memorized, that's how often I bake them.

For Marla, "White Shoulders" perfume will always smell like her laid-out dead grandmother. I feel that way about scented just-about-anything. NOt a fan of artificial scents.

If I could, I'd perfume my own farts and those of my loved ones with the scent of nothing. Magical scentless everything.

I have TOO MANY/TOO MUCH OF makeup, especially considering I never wear it, and not enough uh...from a global wealth perspective, I probably have too much everything--but the one thing I always seem to convince myself I need more of is craft supplies.

Gadgets are for everyone!

When people have kind, sweet and nice things about me, they're usually talking about Frances.

I can't be upset if people dis me about being a tad too argumentative, because it's true.

If I could have any talent in the world, I'd choose persuasion and use it to organize society to my wishes from behind the scenes (how Machavellian!).

You are given an hour and twenty dollars to spend in one of these places, childfree. Choose one, or write your own:

A flea market, where you might find neat treasures and still have enough left over for some home made baked goods from that nice granny's table.

A picturesque pub, where a couple of great drinks and a nice tip might lead to some interesting conversations.

A craft show, because you really need to find a few more things made from twigs and yarn. Or glass or beads or fabric or anything. If someone has made something by hand, it's fascinating to me.

A gourmet food store, because food for the tummy is food for the soul.

A fancy and expensive boutique, because you'd rather have one lipstick from a great place than ten lipsticks from a dollar store.

Wherever! Whatever! Just give the twenty dollars to whomever's caring for the offspring so you can have more time to yourself!

And here's the last chance to make sure that you're not going to get a "Jelly of the Month" club membership when you're expecting your bonus for a swimming pool:

It is important to me that the items chosen for me are pink! Just kidding. Anything is fine. (And please, no pink.)
(Examples: respect my Wal-Mart boycott, are vegan, aren't made by child or sweatshop labour, can be stuffed down my pants)

And

If I could suggest that you read only one post from my archives, this would be it: The Story So Far.

And

If I were to name the Holiday of my choice for this exchange, it would be: Yule. But Christmas is ok too. So is "happy holidays." If it's winter-themed and involves decorated trees, pretty cookies, sparkly lights and presents I am all over it. (Please feel free to make one up - but this is your chance to say "Um, I'm Jewish but that doesn't mean give me dreidels!" or "More Santa decorations please - I only have thirty-seven now." or "Winter and gifts yes; religious denominations, no - if only all cards could be like those politically correct corporate holiday wishes!" if you want to.)