I know all too well this feeling of "it's all going to be alright". It's letting go what won't be. And it's loving what is and will always be. Congratulations on reaching this point. I'll be the first to point out though, throughout Frances life these old issues may come creep to bite you in the ass now and then, especially during big moments that involve Frances. IE School. You'll get through that too, because you've gotten through the first hurdle. Hooray!! Wonderful!! Now you are inspiring me to write about my experiences of being a special needs mom.

I have been reading your blog for a few weeks now and I really enjoy checking in every few days to see how things are.

You have a beautiful daughter. She's simply precious.

Thank you for writing.

Hooray! I know how freeing that must be.

One of these days, will you post a picture that shows how small she is? Like her standing next to an ordinary chair or something. You keep saying she's small but it's so hard to picture! My own daughter is small but she's 5th percentile -- when I think of Frances, I think of her being the size Sasha was a few months ago.

I'm so happy for you! Because she is just.perfect. And absolutely adorable, to boot!

Congratulations on completing the essay! Hopefully we all get to read it :) I'm sure it's wonderful!

Kudos to you for loving wholy and from the heart! Your fondness of Everything Frances (size included) will be a tremendous source of strength for your daughter as she grows into a beautiful young lady. That's the greatest legacy we can leave our children -- the knowledge that they were loved completely and in their entirety.

Laura, no, I know--it isn't so much that I think it's not going to be a problem anymore, as that I don't feel like *I* am the problem anymore. "Hey, I'm not a jerk anymore! Whoo!"

Kerri--thank you! I've been reading yours too.

Thanks, all. It does help that she's the WBBE, BN. :)

Have you ever heard that guilt is a mother's curse? When Aaron was very little and very fragile and very sick. I used to cry over his bed thinking what have I done to this little boy? What kind of life of misery have I given him? I grappled with the guilt I felt that I am the one who chose life for him, after 5 different doctors "advised" me to abort. I wrestled with that guilt for years! Once I grew up and accepted that he was a person who deserved life no matter which one God had in store for him. It was my job to see that it was as happy as possible despite all his challenges. At 6. 5 years old I think I am accomplishing that goal for him. He's the happiest of little boys you'd ever met. He doesnt care he's in a wheelchair. He doesn't know any different. He certainly doesn't hate me that I chose life for him. And so many people's life are richer because of the both of us. (I'm done rambling!)