Have you really decided not to have any more children?
*just a wee bit confused

Nooooooo! I'm being sarcastic. ;)

Nice smackdown. I sure enjoyed that.

Amen, sister!

This is an issue that niggles at me when I read debates like the one you linked. My family is sprinkled liberally with a wide selection of the conditions you name: alcoholic grandfather, depressed mother and uncles, obese uncles, mysterious autoimmune conditions, a very probable prostate cancer link (all three uncles on one side developed it before 50), and a lovely tendency towards rampaging heart disease. And now, as I watch my dear father starting, just after his 60th birthday, the cascade of cardiac interventions that he's needing DESPITE keeping fit, active, and healthy weight --- I *do* think sometimes of what might face my kids.

But does the possibility of any of that, given that it is only possibility, outweigh the good? They're bright, happy, friendly kids. Would I have done better to not bring them into the world on the off chance they'll wind up depressed and cancerous with failing hearts?

What really gives away the true eugenic nature of some of those people's arguments is when they start to apply it to things that are neither fatal nor painful. A large contingent of people on a discussion group I belong to were horrified about the story of the Deaf lesbians who chose a Deaf sperm donor to ensure a Deaf child. The child would be born into a family with an extended circle all in the Deaf Culture community - yet this was seen as "awful." Hm.

I have seen the light!

I laughed so hard I spit diet coke at several points while reading this.

One word: Brilliant.

Well, damn. I guess I forgot to hop out of the gene pool. Now Ivy and Annie will be filled with angst over their family history of cancer, heart disease, mental illness, addiction, autoimmune disorders, and halitosis. My god, they might actually die someday! Why were Joe and I ever allowed to have reproductive organs, genetic inferiors that we are?

Oh, how I LOVE sarcastic Andrea! ;)

Sadly, I've often worried about what I've passed on to my kids. I do know that heart disease runs on Jon's side...both his grandfather and father died of heart attacks at 67. And I have NO CLUE if there is anything on my side with the whole adoption thing. I hope that if there was anything crucial worth passing on it would have been in my profile...

It really is terrible that we (as a society...the "Royal We") even think of such things though. Even if there was a good chance either of the kids were at risk of developing something requiring extensive medical care from either of us, would it have prevented us from having kids? Hell no. My god...if everyone who has something in their family history that is less that "perfect" decided not to have kids, no-one would ever reproduce.

I made the mistake of reading that board before dinner and lost my appetite.

I say, (and I'm sure you were waiting on the edge of your seat for my verdict, too) reproduce away Andrea.

The more happy environmentalists we have, the better. Who cares if they're little, have diabetes, or are a little nutsy. Sure beats thinking you're better off dead because your pancreas doesn't work!

Yes, that settles it. We're all just going to have to start un-having our children. Just in case. I'm not sure how that works exactly. Anyone?

Clearly we have two main problems here, genetically speaking: Some people get old. Old is a leading cause of disaiblity, pain and death. We can't have people reproducing if their children have a greater-than-average chance of getting old. Other people die young. Dying young is a tragedy, and is also associated with a high risk of disability, pain and illness. We can't have that either. This should make everything simple--we'll just eliminate the reproductive organs of anyone whose genes carry a greater-than-average risk of either dying young or getting old.

Oh, that was fun.

Anyway. Kassie, I'm glad you liked it. ;)

Sorry I didn't quite hear or see that post dripping with the sarcasm. Now I do! Hooray!! Hooray!! Hooray!! I'm so happy that it was sarcasm, I want to see Frances have a little sibling.
I have struggled myself with having another child. First things first though I'll need to find a partner, ha! But once I do...It's a big deal and a lot to think about. I have skeletal dysplasia. I'm okay I turned out fine. Aaron is okay for the most part sadly though he is very involved medically. However, I do not beleive that every offspring I created (50-50 with chance of passing on this faulty back genes) I think I'd have to raise that child in the same darn environment for that one to turn out like Aaron. Not that Aaron is bad mind you. What I'm trying to say is that Aaron is part genetics and part circumstances that were beyond my control.
Now that I know better I can do better with the next one (which I highly doubt).
Basically what I'm trying to say is I am so glad that there are people like you out there. Because every since I had Aaron I was racked with the guilt that I should have never reproduced in the first place. I would go to doctors and feel the shame inside wondering if they pity me for having given birth to a child that is less than perfect with my defective genes. (I did not know that it was a hereditary disease, I did not know. And if I did I probably would have made the same choice anyway.) My life is not the same and never would be had I not had him. I'm getting all sappy here. I'll stop now before you haul out the klenex or push the delet button thinking this crazy woman makes no sense.

well done, but i'm still not over the yuck factor.

Thank you for the birthday wishes.
I just read the forum where people were going back and forth. I feel sad that one should impose one's beliefs onto another. Now i understand the whole post today.

Andrea, you are one of those who should DEFINITELY be fruitful and multiply. A wicked sarcastic sense of humor is far too rare in this world. THAT is a gene which must be passed on!

Laura, you do not sound like a crazy woman. You sound like a woman with a genetic syndrome whose child has a genetic syndrome, and so these discussions hit close to home. BElieve me, I'm the same way.

In school they taught me that life is a genetically transmitted disease with 100% mortality. I wonder what those poopy-heads would say to that!

(Actually, the real quote was that "life is a sexually transmitted disease ... " but you get the idea.

Andrea, you take snarkasm to a high level, indeed you do.

As for this whole topic -- why don't we just breed blonde, blue-eyed children who are athletic? That way, we'd create this perfect, "master" race, which could foster in a new era of domination. An aryan race, if you will... What? You say it's already been done? How'd that work out, then?

The argument is ludicrious. The whole idea is preposterous. If we were to decline to have children for any of these reasons, the human race would die out very quickly. Living, by its very essence, is a death sentence.

I just found your blog and I find it delightful!

Great post--I have Graves' disease and a few dreadful/moronic people have suggested that I shouldn't have had children as a result. If only they knew I had to do IVF, too!

Having said that, both George Bush I and barbara have Graves', and look how their kids turned out, so maybe those people have a point...

Thanks, Kris, and welcome. :)

KLee, indeed. It is very silly.

I'm not even about to read that board. I'll be ready to wring someone's neck. The other terrible thing that gets steam pouring out of my ears is the people who try to use Darwinism to say that we shouldn't bother treating people with genetic diseases because they are flawed, so we should just let them go ahead and die.

What do you want to bet that these idiots would change their mind the second they had a child/fell in love with/had a relative who had X condition?

Mock them more, anytime you like!

Stupid, stupid, ignorant, people!
I am a 43 year old mother of an 18 month old. About 6 months ago when running errands I happend to catch a talk show on the radio discussing having children at a late age. They were supposedly presenting BOTH SIDES of the debate.
I called in and got on (ended up not being such a great thing); this female radio host tore into me for having a child so late in life, that I could die at any time (can't we all?) and that she would be alone. Keeping in mind that I am a married mother, I told her by the time I was 6 months pregnant the insurance policies were in place, as well as a future legal guardian. I also told her that I was a product of older parents (my Dad was 50 and my Mom 43 when I was born).
I was lucky: my Dad lived until I was 30 and my Mom is still around. But even if they had left me sooner I would still have no regrets. Since I didn't marry until 39 my father would have missed it anyway. He was the best Dad in the world and taught me well how to be a really great parent.
Female radio host didn't care and continued to beret me verbally. I should have known better than to call in, but my daughter is the best thing I have ever done and I wanted to inspire older women who may have also met with resistance (i.e., what are you doing having a baby at your age?).
We would like a sibling for our daughter; but you can be sure if we don't have one it won't be because of what anyone else has said! I could die tomorrow, but that statement has been true since the day I was born. If we all chose to live our lives based on fear of death none of us would accomplish much.
I'm sure you will conceive and I would worry too much about passing on Diabetes. Even if you do, your child will have the advantage of having a parent that will recognize signs easily and know exactly what to do (versus me who would be initially overwhelmed with managing it).
You've done a wonderful job with Frances and I'm sure you will do a wonderful job with your next one. Shame on anyone who tells you what criteria you should meet to procreate! I'm sure her statements are more a reflection of herself and her life then they are about anyone elses.

In a similar vein:

"But if it will save just one life..." (I hate when people say that, it's usually trotted out about co-sleeping etc)

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