No good can ever come from satire. Except giggles. And satisfaction. But apart from that, nothing.

And, hot digity, is two years old not the most fun age yet? The talking cracks me up. Ivy has been apologizing a lot, too, but I think it's pretty insincere. She'll push Annie down and then exlcaim, "Oh! I torry, A'ie. You otay? Yeah. You otay."

I don't know what to say about the Barbie stuff. Sucks. We haven't dealt with that specifically, but Ivy is on a pink kick right now. She'll put on something pink and say, "Oh! So diddy [pretty]!" Argh. How did this happen?

As someone who had a satirical column in a conservative university for 2 years, you certainly have my sympathies. It's no fun when people can't read verbal cues.

i agree that it's sad that she's learned barbie = beauty already - scary how societial 'norms' creep into kids awareness so young. However, you're giving her excellent lessons teaching her that there is more than just barbie beauty in this world, so I think she'll be okay.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!(well you said to scream it with you)
Barbies are ugly and fake and plastic. :(I'd be sad too and I wouldn't know how to approach it. You can't very well march down to the daycare and say I want you to have a lesson BEAUTY and it what it means! Most of the kids at daycare are getting their teachings from their parents. I just shudder at the thought of the little girl whose parents do say that she is beautiful like a barbie doll. Sick sad parents!
Good for for the unlearning of Frances. Somethings are better unlearned! With a mommy like you it won't take long!

I may be over-reading here... but I as sweet as it is that Frances wants you to be happy, I also think it's important that Frances learn - as much as an egocentric two year old can - that she is not solely responsible for maintaining your state of happiness. Because let's face it, crap happens in life that not even Frances can make better, and as much as I love how nurturing she is, I fear the hyper sense of responsibility (and the resultant sense of failure) that being a super sensitive child can breed.

Yes, I just projected my psyche all over your child. Ugh. The background - as a child I tried to take care of a clinically depressed mom and make her happy. As a result, I came into adulthood with a severely enlarged responsibility gland. So how can we help our children balance an appropriate sense of empathy with an appropriate sense of self?

And does this make any sense?

P.S. I think you just need to give Frances some multisyllabic words for Barbie. Try starting her on "tool of the patriarchy" and proceed from there. I think emotionally, dealing with a sick parent is the equivalent of an eight-syllable word for a two year old. Parents are big. They're not supposed to be vulnerable. And, since the world revolves around two year olds, if they are sick or upset, it must be my fault.

Casey, I know! It must be in teh water or something.

LauraJ, I wish that were true, but I have the feeling this is just going to be the first of many such hurdles. Thanks for the words of encouragement, though.

art-sweet, that makes perfectly good sense. And I do try to tell her that it's nothing to do with her ("You make me very happy, Frances; I just have a little owwie in my throat") but I don't think she's at the stage yet where she can really understand that. As you say, she's (delightfully) egocentric. But that is a good thing to keep in mind, and I definintely don't want her to think she is responsible for my moods, good or bad.

And YES! I will teach her to say that Barbies are a tool of the patriarchy. And she can take THAT to daycare. Ha!

I'm always unsure when to start obviously trying to widen one of CG's opinions and when to ignore a behavior or view I don't like, since sometimes the negative attention becomes a draw. (You know best how to get Frances to accept new ideas, of course, but I wonder whether labeling things as obviously NOT BARBIE will make her cling to Barbie= beautiful more strongly or not.) I'm also wondering what she really thinks about Barbie, since even with the word gene, she is probably using words without the precise meanings you would have mapped for them. So how do they play with Barbie at daycare? And what does she think Barbie does? Maybe her Barbie views aren't quite as narrow as we're all assuming/fearing b/c she doesn't yet have the ability to grasp the decades of cultural significance we attach to Barbie.

I have the same conversation with myself regarding the notion of "princess" and Curious Girl.

Wait, we're *not* supposed to eat babies?

Ooops.

;)

But yeah, I can totally see Frances being able to handle "Barbie is a tool of the patriarchy" . I think I'd pee my pants in delight if I heard her say that!

Yes, barbie as a measure of beauty is scary - but I also want to offer this possible way of looking at it: I would hesistate to say that Barbie *isn't* pretty - because everything is pretty. Barbie is pretty, Dora is pretty, Frances is pretty, Mommy is pretty - just like barbie, dora, frances adn mummy are smart.

It's easy to take the attack, but if she learns that barbie is pretty at school, then hears that barbie *isn't* pretty from you guys, it could extrapolate to her hearing that she is pretty at school, and then wondering if at home......it's a stretch, but I'm just wondering about the positive acknowledgements vs the negative in this case. The more positive versions of pretty she has, the better she'll be equipped to conceive of difference as a positive.

But, I'm not a mom, and I may be totally reacting in the wrong way. I do that sometimes. :)

Ok, I actually just went and READ that eat babies link - wow, really? Um, um...I'm, uh, hoping that's satire? I think it is, right?

I think you're trying to make up for ten weeks of not commenting, is what I think. ;)

No, I'm not planning on telling her that barbies are ugly, just taking some time to point out lots of things that are beautiful and look nothing like barbie.

I thought she was saying frilly=Barbielike.

Barbie is innocent!

I think it's important with children not to overstate the point too much so much as provide lots of other examples of what you think is beautiful. Same way if you're trying to teach your child to eat healthy you probably won't keep a lot of sugary snacks in the house but you aren't going to be monitoring every bit of cake that goes into her mouth at a birthday party either. I mean, it's way too early for her to go all teenager, "Well, if it makes my mom unhappy that I like Barbie, I'm going to dye my hair platinum blonde and talk about how hard math is!" but her understanding of Barbie should be more about why Barbie is a sketchy influence in and of itself and not how it personally makes you feel.

"A modest proposal" was one of the texts in my Standard Grade English exam. I thought it was hilarious (and sad) at 16 but I don't know if everyone got it.

Barbie! Ugh! My son has the same problem with "princess"-- Mommy, you look like a princess. When I had my eye surgeries this summer, I was told that I was "too uguly" too be a princess. I found this very hurtful and scary. My husband and I *never* talk about things/people being ugly or about princesses being pretty, or much about beauty in general, except for things in nature. I haven't said anything to the daycare providers. To be honest, since my kid is the one most likely to bite the other children and throw blocks, I don't really feel I'm in a strong position to complain. And I doubt that Miss Jan is the one telling them that princesses are pretty, etc. Even at 3, the playground is influencing his cultural identifications. Yikes!

Aaah, barbie and princess! My little cousin (4 years old) absolutely loves Barbie and the whole Disney princess idea. She is such a smart little girl, but I worry about this, especially since one of her parents is very fundamentalist. My solution? When I'm over and playing with her I invent stories with the Barbies that involve more adventure than Ken's and change the stories to have independent and confident princesses... now, this may not be as much of a concern given that you are obviously providing a very different home environment for Frances, but it always gives me a kick to play out new storylines, and my cousin gets curious about what's happening and will start inventing a new story with me.