Winter Holiday of Your Choice Blog Extravaganza Gift Exchange Questionnaire Answers

I just blew all the post title rules right out the window.

Anyway. Here are my answers; if you're in the gift exchange, don't forget yours!

Fill in the blanks:

If I could, I'd invent a a mind-meld device, and damn it, the world needs
one because, some things you need to talk about are too important to fuck up and the language is too clumsy to deal with them.

I sometimes buy fresh vegetables for work lunches, because it is/they are more like the
me I want to be than the me that I am.

If you came over to my house to play and touched my ________________ I'd be
a little bit mad at you forever. (I'm sorry, I can't think of anything I wouldn't want people touching. Unless you started looking through my underwear drawer. That would be weird.)

The colour/s no one in particular--anything dull or muddy makes me want to shave my eyeballs with a
cheese grater.

The colour/s anything light or bright is/are so beautiful that when I see them, a
beam of light comes down and I hear a choir sing.

Most women's magazines makes me gag, feel it in my mouth for a minute, and
then swallow it back down rather than spit it out (or else I just don't like
it, but I'm too nice to say it.)

I might get sick or die if I touch or ingest brussel sprouts, or look at
celebrities.

Singing childrens' toys, especially those featuring Elmo gives me the willies and I might need to consider a
frontal lobotomy if I even think about it further.

I love the feel of silk? chenille? so much I want to hump it like a puppy on
a sofa pillow. (This was a hard one. I guess I'm not a tactile person. AT least our house is now safe for chenille--Erik's old cat ate anything chenille we brought in the house. Did he miss the part about being a carnivore?)

No one should have to watch me eat chocolate cheesecake brownie bars, because then I might
consider being polite enough to share, and I don't want to share it. (Fortunately for the world, I bake a few batches each year for the holidays so that I can share some without needing to kill anyone.)

I'm a grown-up now, so I don't have to eat raw vegetables any
more, and you can't make me. (Cooked is fine though--I don't have scurvy!)

If I could invent a way to permanently coat my nostril hairs with this
scent, I'd be my own biggest customer: unscented. I can't say this enough. The number of products with smells on them that I like is incredibly, incredibly limited.

Three things I like that anyone might like: european chocolate
classical holiday music (classical as in the musical style, not as in 'the classics' like Bing Crosby or whatever--I mean, I like that stuff too, but who else does?) homemade baked goods

Three things I like that nobody else in the world likes:
Books about political philosophy fuzzy or otherwise unusual embroidery threads (though I don't use them as much as I used to)
books about how to solve the world's ills

I have TOO MANY/TOO MUCH OF craft supplies (not that this will stop me from buying more), and not enough
books.

Okay, we know the best things in life aren't things, but these are the best
things in life if there are going to be best things: beautiful novels that make me weep for joy and gnash my teeth for not being capable of writing them myself.

When people have kind, sweet and nice things about me, they're usually
talking about crap, I don't know. Ask them. When they say I'm
incredibly stubborn, they're usually right too.

It's true, I'm a scrapbooker. I'm learning to be
proud of it. (So far, not succeeding, but if you twist my arm when you visit me I'll show you my albums, all the while blushing and making self-deprecating remarks.)

If I could have any talent in the world, I'd choose writing perfectly and use
it to ski! OR write. One or the other.

You are given a day and a no-limit credit card to spend in one of these
places, childfree. Choose one, or write your own:

A craft show, because you really need to find something attractive to cover
your spare rolls of toilet paper with, and then, you want to maybe glue some
paper to some more paper. It's all about making and doing. YES. I KNOW.

Though if I made up my own, it would be the World's Biggest Bookstore. Without Frances. OR anyone else with me who might make me feel guilty for spending five hours in a bookstore, picking things up and putting them down again.

And here's the last chance to make sure that you're not going to get a
"Jelly of the Month" club membership when you're expecting your bonus for a
swimming pool:

It is important to me that the items chosen for me
Oh lord, I don't want to burden anyone else with the complex weight of my combined neuroses. Tell you what: you have fun and get whatever you want, and I'll handle the guilt trip from this end. Though if you've been reading my blog for a while, you'll have a pretty good idea of what my ethical hang-ups are.
(Examples: respect my Wal-Mart boycott, are vegan, aren't made by child or
sweatshop labour, can be stuffed down my pants)

And

If I could suggest that you read only one post from my archives, this would
be it: This one, because it was a big moment for me. Though there are now over 960 entries here, so picking one is no small feat, and I reserve the right to change my mind tomorrow.

And

If I were to name the Holiday of my choice for this exchange, it would be:
Yule! (Please feel free to make one up - but this is
your chance to say "Um, I'm Jewish but that doesn't mean give me dreidels!"
or "More Santa decorations please - I only have thirty-seven now." or
"Winter and gifts yes; religious denominations, no - if only all cards could
be like those politically correct corporate holiday wishes!" if you want to.
Or, you know FESTIVUS!)

Posted by Andrea at October 16, 2006 8:28 AM under The Winter Holiday of Your Choice!

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