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March 12, 2007 Monday Mission: PRESS RELEASE 
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Revolutionary New Weight Loss Programme GTA, ON, March 12 2007--Move over, Fen-Phen; it's time for a new dangerous fad diet to hit the nation. Only this one prescribes no chemicals, pills, herbs, supplements, shakes, or gadgets. What is this miraculous new plan? "It's called the Divorce Diet," says Andrea M., a recent participant who lost eight pounds in two weeks. "I don't recommend it." How does it work? We asked her. "Well, you're too stressed to eat, and working out becomes this great excuse for leaving the room for an hour." She shrugged. "Really, though, there have got to be easier ways to lose weight. Plus it doesn't seem to be working that way for my husband. I mean, my ex-husband." Dr. Fifi, the plan's main advocate, had this to say: "Obviously I'm crazy about this thing. I've had five divorces now, and the weight just keeps falling off. But listen, it's not for everyone. I mean, if you're not married, then obviously you can't get divorced; and if you like your spouse, then the costs of the Divorce Diet may be higher than the benefits in your own particular case. As with all weight loss plans, you should consult your doctor before beginning." The Divorce Diet is also more expensive than most other weight loss plans, as it involves lawyer's fees and court costs. You may wish to consult a financial planner before undertaking the Divorce Diet. For more information, please contact Dr. Fifi at (555) ROF-LMAO. ### Posted by Andrea at March 12, 2007 7:08 AM under Monday Mission EMAIL this entry (comments fields are below this section) Comments Perfect. And, sorry. Posted by: Madeleine at March 12, 2007 10:40 AM
You, my dear, are brilliant. Posted by: liz at March 12, 2007 10:55 AM
Oh boy do I know this. Rather, not with divorce, but my most major breakup ever dropped 30 pounds. My friend linda has gone from a 14 to a 10 most recently. Hang in there. You are doing good things for you. It's important. (((((hugs)))) Posted by: rachel at March 12, 2007 11:26 AM
I lost a ton of weight (250 lbs, ba-dum-dum) when I divorced my ex. Then I met TCBIM. I'm all fat again. The Divorce Diet works, but yes, it's costly. Kind of screws with your head, too. Posted by: julia at March 12, 2007 11:50 AM
Oooo, I have done the break-up weight plunge. I don't recommend it. It's tough on the system and the long-term success rate is abysmal. Eventually happiness creeps back up on you. As always, I will have my Monday mission up tonight. Posted by: Mad Hatter at March 12, 2007 12:57 PM
Celebrity endorsements! Perfect. MH, why, why must happiness sneak back up on me? (j/k) Posted by: Andrea at March 12, 2007 1:49 PM
Ha! This was great. I mean the post, not the concept. I do have to add that I also have a revolutionary weight loss plan, it's called not eating. Blogging while the kids are having their lunch and forgoing my own, for example... Mine mission is up. Dinosaurs are involved. If you are sick to death of dinosaurs, you might ignore this one : ) Posted by: Jennifer at March 12, 2007 2:18 PM
I love knife-edge humor. Posted by: ~Macarena~ at March 12, 2007 3:32 PM
Brilliantly witty! Posted by: Kyla at March 12, 2007 4:55 PM
Sorry that it's so hard on you. The stress is the real killer. Please give Frances a hug from me. Posted by: KLee at March 12, 2007 8:34 PM
You are a master of dark humour. I feel like an overprotective gramma 'cause my first instinct was to say, "TAKE CARE of YOURSELF!" Mine's up. Posted by: NotSoSage at March 12, 2007 9:15 PM
Just be careful, you. Posted by: fluttercrafts at March 12, 2007 11:40 PM
KLee-done. With a few extra thrown in, just because. Posted by: Andrea at March 13, 2007 7:21 AM
Oh, I, too have done this diet, only I called it, the "Stress Diet" "Need to loose 40 lbs? Catch your Husband/Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Wife Sleeping with your best friend!" Posted by: Eryn at March 13, 2007 11:00 AM
And you are one of the "lucky" ones; the rest of us get stressed and eat. I hope you had weight to lose. Posted by: Adria at March 13, 2007 2:45 PM
*giggle* and so true Posted by: LauraJ at March 18, 2007 5:09 PM
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Change is God (Octavia Butler, Parable Series) "More than at any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we will have the wisdom to choose correctly." Woody Allen Email Frances! frances AT athenadreaming DOT org You can email her mother too (that's me):
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