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November 3, 2007 Samhain and the Shadow 
Samhain caught me by surprise this year. Last Samhain was the Monster. Last Samhain, I saw that no matter what I thought or wanted, my marriage was over, and it was time to admit it and go. It took me six months to work through this and act on it (which puts the separation eerily close to Ostara). But even though Ostara and Beltane normally put me back in the overworld, outside my head where I then act on things that are important to me, the entire year has felt so self-focused, so drawn around restructuring my life and reassembling all the pieces, that I felt as if I'd never left the underworld at all. Never left my head. As if my normal pattern--six months up, six months down; six months out, six months in--had been shattered by life circumstances. And then on Samhain I saw that it hadn't. Last Samhain I saw the Monster; between Imbolc and Ostara I admitted it, and acted on it, and we separated. The next six months were focused on the outside after all: protecting and helping Frances, dealing with the separation, and lawyers, and property, finding neighbourhoods and apartments, selling the house, moving, settling in. Then Samhain came, and with it the pull back inside. I don't know what the Shadow has to show me this year. But I can hazard a guess. The hard thing about wicca is that there are no soft, comforting lies. You are confronted by yourself as you really are, over and over. Six months up, six months down. Six months out, six months in. Down I go. Posted by Andrea at November 3, 2007 9:24 AM under Witch EMAIL this entry (comments fields are below this section) Comments Don't go for too long! Posted by: LauraJ at November 3, 2007 12:11 PM
I don't know a lot about Wicca, but it sounds pretty balanced - life requires all of those things, but so many of us avoid those that are more unpleasant to face and/or deal with, to varying degrees. Posted by: Freakazojd at November 3, 2007 9:34 PM
Today I thought of you and Frances and came to find you. My computer crashed and with it, all of my bookmarks. This post really spoke to me as I have been confronting lies in my life. Trying to piece together what I believed was real and what was real. Just wanted to let you know that you two were in my thoughts..... Posted by: Tara Marie at November 4, 2007 2:35 PM
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