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January 23, 2008 Four Pounds 
Dr. S: So how do you think you've been doing with blood sugar control lately? Andrea: Good. Not as well as before, I know my control has been slipping, but I think that's just an adjustment period issue. Dr. S: Makes sense. Yes, it looks like your A1c might be closer to 7 now. Still, that's pretty good. And you've gained four pounds. You'd lost a significant bit last time, though, so that's to be expected. Andrea: Right. Dr. S: Here's a new blood test requisition. See you in six months. ~~~~~ Vanity: Four Pounds! Sanity: Relax. Vanity: Four pounds! Four pounds! Six months! Sanity: (sighs) Vanity: At this rate, I'm going to be 200lbs by the time I'm 40. Sanity: Has that ever happened before? Vanity: I will die alone! Sanity: Are you listening to yourself? Are you crazy? You weighed more than this when you got married. Vanity: I'm fat! Four pounds! Sanity: You can stand barefoot with your feet together and your legs don't touch. You are not fat. Vanity: Four! Pounds! Sanity: It's January: the holidays JUST ended and you JUST had a cookie decorating party for your daughter. It's four freaking pounds. Breathe. Vanity: I liked being slim. It was fun while it lasted. Sanity: Did it make your life any better? Vanity: I could always just cut back on my insulin. That would work. Sanity: Full stop. I don't think so. That could kill you. Four pounds won't. Vanity: Oh no, it'll just end all of my chances for earthly happiness. Maybe I need to get another cold.... Sanity: You are nuts. Didn't you go through all this when you were 22? And decide that as long as you were eating reasonably healthy and getting some exercise that whatever weight you ended up at was obviously the right one? Vanity: (sobs) Sanity: (drums fingers on the metaphorical table) Vanity: Four pounds. Sanity: So now that the festivities are over, cut back on the junk food a bit and see what happens. Vanity: No. How many leftover shortbread cookies do we have? Sanity: Lots. Wait--hold on a second--slow down! Vanity: Four pounds. Sanity: Well, that'll fix it, eh? Vanity: Where's the chocolate? Sanity: You have got to be kidding me.... You're not kidding. Vanity: By next Wednesday you'll have to roll me out of the apartment on a dolly. Sanity: Here's an idea: STOP EATING. Vanity: Are you making fun of me? Vanity: I am absolutely making fun of you. Vanity: Four pounds! Vanity: You have a beautiful daughter, a good job, great friends, you're writing a novel, you manage to keep the house clean and cook fresh meals even though you're single, you work out nearly every day--and you are going crazy over four pounds. Vanity: Are you calling me stupid? SAnity: YES. Check your blood sugar, take your freaking insulin, put down the cookies, and stop freaking out. You are NOT going to ruin our lives over four pounds! Vanity: (sulks) Sanity: Don't make me tie you up and lock you in the basement again. Posted by Andrea at January 23, 2008 8:59 AM under Female Trouble , Me EMAIL this entry (comments fields are below this section) Comments My sanity and vanity have knock-downs. Posted by: Rosebud & Papoosie Girl at January 23, 2008 9:34 AM
Oops I meant to add 'regularly' to the end of that. Brilliant post. Posted by: Rosebud & Papoosie Girl at January 23, 2008 9:35 AM
I'm rooting for Sanity here. Vanity can go play Lego Star Wars in the basement. Posted by: Liz at January 23, 2008 10:27 AM
This is great... my vanity and sanity have also been wrestling... it sucks. You think you've dealth with all that sh*t before, and then you discover that you didn't really, you were just thinner and could pretend. Posted by: cinnamon gurl at January 23, 2008 10:31 AM
This is a great post - I do the Vanity vs Sanity thing all the time. Mine is usually about which anti-depressants cause weight gain and which ones cause weight loss. 'cause it's all about the weight...not the mood, right?
Did you hear the news report today about young women who are diabetics who are skipping their insulin to lose weight? It makes your post very timely. Posted by: Sue at January 23, 2008 12:07 PM
It shouldn't surprise me that our vanities would get along as nicely as our sanities. Too bad vanities and sanities are so often at odds. Posted by: Julie Pippert at January 23, 2008 12:36 PM
Vanity versus Sanity -- I absolutely love it!! I'm going to have to remember to pull out good ol' Sanity when my beleaguered Vanity is, well, beleaguered. PS: Didn't the doctor say something about your losing a good deal of weight previously? Maybe you needed those four pounds back. Good to have a little meat on your bones! Posted by: Mary L. at January 23, 2008 1:40 PM
Sue, yes I did. It's very sad. Posted by: Andrea
I love the running conversations in your head. You even give them names too!! I've got a MS Sanity in my head and a lot of others too. :D Posted by: LauraJ at January 23, 2008 2:46 PM
*snort* Gee, I've NEVER had that conversation before. Only mine usually is 25 lbs.
Posted by: Major Bedhead at January 23, 2008 3:12 PM
I know what you mean. Oh yes, I do. Posted by: Rachel Baumgartel at January 23, 2008 8:41 PM
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