Scooby Doo and the Witch's Ghost

One could write an entire post or even an entire series of posts on everything that is wrong with Scooby Doo. Talking dog. Marijuana references. Preponderance of white characters and boys. Daphne's Damsel in Distress Syndrome, especially in the originals. Formulaic plots. Crappy writing. Pick any one of the above, and presto: blog fodder!

But Frances loves Scooby Doo. He's a big friendly talking dog, what's not to love? She loves the mysteries which are never too scary and always come out not scary at all in the end. She laughs at all the stupid jokes and the marijuana references go right over her head. So we read Scooby Doo books, and I keep the groaning and kvetching to myself until I have a sympathetic adult audience.

But not for this one, which came as part of a Scooby Doo hardcover storybook collection.

Ben saw Velma staring at the picture. 'Sarah was a Wiccan,' Ben explained, 'a kind of medicine woman, like a doctor.'

'I've read about them,' Velma said. 'Wiccans don't use ordinary medicine. They understand the forces of nature--herbs and plants--and use them for healing.'

Did you know I don't use ordinary medicine? That's right. My insulin is special.

Look, I'm already struggling with how to deal with this. It's not like I'm telling Frances I'm a buddhist or an atheist or a yogic flyer. There's a lot of baggage with the word "witch," and she's already bringing plenty of it home from school and daycare. "Witches can't pee," she tells me; or "witches don't have round heads." And if you think these statements are limited to Hallowe'en, you're mistaken. I don't need one of her favourite entertainment franchises further muddying the waters with stories about "good wiccans" who use herbs to heal people and "bad witches" who die and turn into ghosts and terrify villages.

Ben grabbed it. He grinned, but it was an evil grin that darkened his face. 'This isn't a journal,' he growled in a low, threatening voice. 'It's a spellbook. Sarah was a witch!'

I read that book to her the first time with a sinking feeling, stumbling through the words with my sweet girl snuggled on my lap gobbling it all up.

Isn't that bad enough already? Do you think it can get worse? Let's read the Amazon reviews:

"The book contains "real" ghosts and witchcraft. Several nasty-looking girls who practice Wicca are portrayed as good and cool. I don't want my four-year-old to think Wicca is just a cool and different, but acceptable, lifestyle."

Heaven forbid. How dare a children's entertainment franchise preach tolerance to youngsters! Don't they know that for hatred and fear to be properly inculcated you need to get them young and never let them forget that different is awful and evil and terrible and will eat you while you're sleeping?

"Second, the book is a PR effort for wicca, the religion of witchcraft. Even positive reviews conceed [sic] this point, and the debate has been on whether or not it is OK to preach the benefits of witchcraft to young children. Make up you own mind, but the consistent, overt and in-your-face praise of witchcraft as a path of life (even being encouraged by Scooby's gang) is incredibly inappropriate."

Horribly inappropriate. How dare we! In-your-face praise of a religion as a path of life is only appropriate when you're in a traditional, organized, monotheistic religion. Otherwise it's straight-up corruption of youth.

But the book of course is not PR because it doesn't even get it right. Not even the smallest, simplest detail of either wicca or witchcraft is properly explained. It would be like a children's book talking about how christians are good people who worship god and cause water to turn into non-alcoholic wine on a regular basis by praying over it, but protestants are evil holy-ghost worshiping people who will come after you when they're dead to poke you with a pitchfork.

Shaggy grabbed the witch's spellbook and threw it to Velma. She flipped through the pages, searching for a spell to imprison Sarah.

'Here!' she said to Thorn. 'You're a Wiccan. Read it!'

The witch was getting closer! Quickly Thorn read, 'Ancient evil get thee hence...'

Suddenly the book jumped out of Thorn's hand, glowing and crackling with energy.

Do you think, if I could do that kind of thing, that I wouldn't have done so a long, long time ago? I mean, by now, wouldn't I be a millionaire with a private island, and also a harem?

Normally I have a sense of humour about this stuff. I don't get bent out of shape over the witch costumes and decorations that abound on Hallowe'en. People use witch as a polite alternative slur for bitch, and I laugh. Organizations get all up in arms because Harry Potter is corrupting an entire generation by proselytizing for wicca, and I shake my head. But this. As a foundation for building a positive and meaningful dialogue about my spiritual beliefs and practices with my daughter, this leaves much to be desired.

You can imagine I was already cross, then, when I came across Stephanie Conover's story.

""Our board of directors has eliminated her as a judge as tarot card reading and reiki are the occult and is not acceptable by God, Jews, Muslims or Christians. Tarot card reading is witchcraft and is used by witches, spiritists and mediums to consult the dark world."

The letter went on to quote a couple of passages from the Bible, including one from the book of Leviticus that warns, "Do not turn to mediums or seek out spirits for you will be defiled by them."

"We hope that Stephanie Conover will turn from these belief systems and will repent from her practice of them," the letter reads."

Repent. Defiled!

I hope you all know you're defiling yourselves just by reading my blog.

""Some would call me a witch, yes. But we don't believe in the devil. There's no devil in Wicca. We believe whatever you send out, good or bad, comes back to you three times. Ninety per cent of those who practise witchcraft or Wicca do it for the betterment of themselves or others. It's a religion and we're trying to get it recognized by higher-ups in government."

Conover said she also promotes diversity and multiculturalism as her mother is black and her father is white. Murray insisted Conover is "trying to stir up trouble" by raising the issue in the press. "She's obviously a very vindictive person," she said.

A very vindictive person!

I give up on humans. I think I'll go have a nap.

Posted by Andrea at February 6, 2008 6:45 AM under Books , Witch

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