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April 1, 2008

a life in six words

A friend was commenting the other day, as I shared yet another anecdote about the slow disintegration of my marriage, that I ought to write a book about it; and then, last week, the Goldfish wrote on her blog that I ought to write a book about my current dating adventures.

I agree with both of them; the trouble is that at the age of 33 I think I have the material for at least ten memoirs, and it's difficult to know which one to begin with. Here are the options, in no particular order:

1. The Diabetes Book. There are several good memoirs about living with type 1 diabetes out there right now but, given that it's an epidemic and all, there's almost certainly room for another one, especially if I can work in the pregnancy.

2. The Witch Book. How does a fundamentalist Baptist end up as a witch, anyway? It's a question I've been asked more than once. I think the answer could be a book.

3. The Other Woman Book.

4. The Marriage/Divorce/Legally-Nameless Reason for Divorce Book. Obviously I can't say much about that one here but I think it has a lot of potential, even if I'd have to write it under a pseudonym.

5. The Ugly Duckling Book.

6. The Growing Up Fundamentalist in a Secular Society Book. Not as much fun as it sounds.

7. The Dating Adventures Book. Past and present, a comparison of mores pre-internet and post, with a helping of "how to tell if the guy who's buying you a steak is actually a jerk." At the very least I ought to have enough outrageous stories to fill it up (like the guy who propositioned me after I accused him of stealing my wallet).

8. The Dwarfism Book. Aka, blog-on-paper.

9. The Single Motherhood Book. Still in the midst of figuring out what that one would be like; the one thing I do know is that it's not what I expected it to be.

10. The Combo Book. The Growing Up Fundamentalist in a Secular Society, Ugly Duckling, Converting to Wicca, Living with Diabetes, Coping with High-Risk Pregnancy Resulting in Rare Genetic Syndrome, Other Woman, Getting a Divorce for Legally-Nameless Reasons, Becoming a Single Mom, with Dating Adventures thrown in for leavening throughout, resulting in ... I don't know yet. I think, though, that it would be a pretty big book.

If you were me, which would you start with?

So you can see how this six-word memoir thing going around right now would propose certain challenges. Which memoir ought to be compressed into six words? I thought of a few:

Fifteen years, I still hate needles
I wanted you to choose me
Perfectionist (I like that one)

Ultimately they all leave too much out to be truly satisfying. The only one that works for me is:

My entire life is statistically improbable*

That * would be one hell of a footnote.


Posted by Andrea at April 1, 2008 9:50 AM under Me , Wordsmithery

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The areas which you seem to have the more bookworthy insight (to me) are: the Diabetes book, the Other Woman Book, the Dwarfism Book, and the Single Motherhood Book.

Any of those would fit neatly with your save-the-worldism, don't you think?

Posted by: SueWho at April 1, 2008 11:27 AM

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I spent all last week thinking about life in six word sentences. It was likely a helpful editing exercise if nothing else.

Posted by: Mad at April 1, 2008 11:49 AM

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So far I've really been enjoying #10.

:o)

Posted by: Mary L. at April 1, 2008 11:54 AM

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think about what you'd like to get out of the book-writing experience. the writing will eat up a chunk of your life, so it helps to keep your goal in mind - what do you want as the outcome? to help people? to have a (larger) audience? to have some fun? to make sense of your experiences? your answer should help narrow down your choices. I love your writing - I'd be sure to read whatever you wrote, but I think the diabetes or dwarfism books would be the ones most likely to help shape readers' mindsets, and would maybe be the ones most satisfying for you to write. my two cents!

Posted by: rachel in ottawa at April 1, 2008 12:55 PM

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Wow. Reading your blog is sort of looking in a weird alternate reality version of my life. I'm often told by friends/family to write a book and I keep responding the only thing I could write would be a highly unlikely series of difficult events in a completely unbelievable soap opera. You know, the eating disorder, misdiagnosed illness for 10 years, infertility, terribly ill baby #1 with an undiagnosable growth disorder and extremely rare tumour requiring terrifying surgery and then rehab problems, baby #2 with idiopathic epilipsy, major house fire, existential angst book. Where would I begin? How would I end it? Maybe with 'more to come?'

Good for you for editing yours down to 6 words. Maybe that's what I need to do?

Posted by: Isabel at April 1, 2008 1:07 PM

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Isabel, I often refer to my life as a soap opera too, so I know what you mean. Though good grief, you're due for a break.

Mary, thanks. :)

Posted by: Andrea Author Profile Page at April 1, 2008 1:56 PM

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I vote for #10, too. (even though I don't comment nearly often enough, you're on my top 10 each and every day.)

I may have to steal this and make it a new meme. ;)

Posted by: Rachel at April 1, 2008 8:20 PM

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I'm partial to #10, too. You could always make it a fictionalized account, to keep Getting a Divorce for Legally-Nameless Reasons from getting in the way of a good story.

Posted by: Major Bedhead at April 1, 2008 8:43 PM

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Thanks Andrea. I'm trying to believe that this will be our year. Right now we've just started (yesterday, to be exact) to wean Evie off of her anti-seizure meds. Exciting, but a little terrifying. You certainly have been through your fair share. I've got to say, for my part, I'm ok with the stuff I have to go through. It's the stuff that my kids have to go through that makes me crazy. That and people with stupid platitudes and attitudes about what it will/won't mean to Zack to be small. Mind you, I'm not a very patient person!

Posted by: Isabel at April 1, 2008 9:00 PM

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"My entire life is statistically improbable" is brilliant. I'd be interested to have a link to your new blog, if you're willing to share.

Posted by: purple_kangaroo at April 15, 2008 3:13 AM

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Go Berserk




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