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April 30, 2008 I can't even do this right 
Julie's suggested topic for this week was The Rules--what are they, do you follow them, do you break them? It would be oh-so-tempting to claim an exalted, superior, rule-flouter status for myself. Rules! I have no patience for them. Pah. It is more accurate to state that I never follow the rules because I rarely have any idea what they are. If I did, I might still break them; on the other hand, I might not. I'll spare you the painstaking effort I've been taking lately to inform myself of what some of the rules are and why--but go read Emmie's post about how parenting instincts will fail you if your childhood was not ideal. It will give you some idea of what I'm doing, although not in the realm of parenting. Some of us just don't have a clue what the rules are and if we want to know, we actually have to go and find out. From a book. Anyway. On the other other hand, if rules don't make sense, I certainly won't follow them. I've been throwing a post in my head about wicca around--it's been a while since I've done one of those, and lately I've been thinking about it a lot. What I started with was the idea that I took the newest, most flexible religious path available today and essentially twisted it about for my own purposes. There is one immanent god goes the dogma, with two faces--one masculine, one feminine. And a million names. That's where the pantheons come in. Enh, I reply. I'm not so sure about that. I think it's more complicated. Because even when I'm practicing a religion that essentially positions itself as at-odds-with-Western-culture, and even when I am intimately familiar with the doctrine and the rules from a decade or more of reading, and even when there are only two rules and they are both simple enough to be put into a fortune cookie, I still have to do my own thing. The odd thing is that I still consider myself a witch. (By the way, I suspect from my complete lack of comment spam overnight that the comments form is broken. Sorry about that. I'll fix it as soon as I can. Edited to add: Never mind. The spam is back (plus a comment from Madeleine, who is not spam). The form must have fixed itself.) Posted by Andrea at April 30, 2008 10:00 AM under Witch EMAIL this entry (comments fields are below this section) Comments I'm still trying to figure out what I consider myself as. :D Posted by: LauraJ at April 30, 2008 12:44 PM
I think I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I am more of rule-follower than I think I am, despite everyone else's impression of me. Not only am I admitting it to myself, I'm owning it. I'm hoping that at some point, I'll consider that liberating. ;) Posted by: NotSoSage at April 30, 2008 4:38 PM
I think you have had a problem with comment form. Giving this another go. I have been a rule follower. I'll try to explain why succinctly (bwahahahaha): Inside, I feel very chaotic. I don't need the outside to be chaotic. I need it to be ordered and preferably a bit settled and predictable. That has never been a state I've visited, by the way. I have had a very chaotic life, most of which had little to nothing to do with who I am or my choices. So. Rules = order to me. If we all agree to live by the same rules, then we are settled and stable. Ish. Then I had my 6th birthday. (Kidding. It took a few more, sadly.) Following rules = good. Good = loved and beloved. Loved = stable and settled. Then I had my 7th birthday. (Kidding. It took a few more, sadly). I learned that what others expected and allowed of you was directly related to their perceived value of you, and even if you were very, Very Good indeed, it depended on their world view. I saw that in the end, it all boiled down to politics. In the end, whether it is president or anyone, people want to feel on par with you, that you are a person of faith, and someone they could tip a beer with. I am not often that person, the one they were expecting. And I've had to come to terms with that, rules, and quality over quantity. I'll let you know when I hit that birthday. :) (Did my comment completely skim over the Wicca thing? Sorry. And is it longer than your post? really sorry. But thanks for that link about childhood and instincts. Will go read. I could never make my friends from loving, happy, stable homes understand why I read so many damn parenting books.) Posted by: Julie Pippert at April 30, 2008 8:43 PM
Julie, this makes a lot of sense to me. I'm not knocking order, by the way--I'm just bad at it. Posted by: Andrea
We, as a family, make our own rules. They are pretty basic, treat others like you'd like to be treated and be good to the earth. That's it. I think most things can be reduced to these two things, can't they? I'll have to think about this a bit more, but I don't want to flout these rules and I don't really want to grow my list. Posted by: woman in a window at May 1, 2008 10:54 AM
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Change is God (Octavia Butler, Parable Series) "Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice. Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble." Ralph Waldo Emerson Email Frances! frances AT athenadreaming DOT org You can email her mother too (that's me):
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