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June 16, 2008 Damn you, Shakespeare (Clod and Pebble Return) 
(A pastoral scene of low grass, cows grazing, a stream running through a field; and weeping coming from nowhere. A woman who looks suspiciously like me is hunting down the source of the crying.) Andrea: Clod? Is that you? Clod: (crying harder) Andrea: (sitting down carefully so as to avoid Clod) What's wrong? Clod: he ... he ... he ... Andrea: Who? Clod: Pebble! He ... he ... cheated on me! Andrea: What? Pebble? (pause) Since when have you and Pebble been.... Clod: Around New Year's. We kept talking after our conversations with you last year and one thing led to another and we fell in love and it was like being hit by a bolt of lightning but then... (sobbing) Andrea: I'm sorry. That's awful. What's going to happen with you and Pebble? Clod: I don't know. (sniffling) What can I do? He tells me he's in love with this, this Gravel, and he won't leave her, but he doesn't want me to leave either because he loves both of us. He keeps saying "that's what love is, 'bind another to its delight,' remember?" What can I do? Andrea: Well. (pause) You could break up with him. I mean, what does he expect? He gets to have his cake and eat it too? He gets to mistreat both of you to make himself happy? Clod: I can't do that! Love seeketh not itself to please! Nor for itself hath any care! That would be selfish, I can't ask him to make me happy. Andrea: But he's being an asshole. Clod: That's what love is. You don't care when someone hurts you because if you do that means you don't love them, you're thinking about yourself. Andrea: Oh god, Clod, Blake is a smart guy but he's just a good writer, he can be wrong. You know? You're allowed to have some care for yourself. You need to. You're not going to have a self to love with if you don't give yourself and your wants some attention sometimes. Clod: I don't know.... Andrea: What makes you think he loves you at all? If you loved someone, would you treat them that way? Clod: No! But that's different, I'm not him, I don't want to be judgmental. Andrea: Clod, honey, there are igneous ... mineral ... whatevers ... out there who will love you for the ... I mean to say, you deserve to be loved by someone who treats you well. Clod: (sniffing) Andrea: Frankly, Pebble sounds like a narcissistic jerk. Clod: What about what you said before? All that stuff about "being hurt and choosing to be open to it anyway"--huh? Were you lying? Andrea: Noooo.... But if someone is being abusive you don't invite them in to do it again. You close the door in their face. You keep the door open to people who deserve to come in. The ones who will give to you what you give to them. Clod: I don't know if I can. I've tried to leave him before and it never goes well. I just can't seem to get over him, I can't seem to really leave or forget him--and I try but then I end up going back. Andrea: My love is as a fever, longing still Clod: That's it. That's exactly how I feel. Andrea: He's writing about his lover the way an addict talks about heroin. Clod: (silence) Andrea: That's not good. You know what heroin does to addicts who don't break the addiction. Clod: (sniffing) I don't want to be selfish. Andrea: Clods draw Pebbles the way worms draw fish in that stream. Pebbles see the lack of self-regard and it draws them in like a heroin addict too. But you know what happens to the worms. They get stuck on a hook, and then they get eaten. Clod: I'm being eaten alive. Andrea: Yes, you are. Posted by Andrea at June 16, 2008 9:18 AM under Friends and Others EMAIL this entry (comments fields are below this section) Comments Ah, the dramatic and ironic season-two twist of plot for the clod and the pebble. That poor clod. I hope it finds a nice... mineral... uh, whatever... that it can be happy with. I think your point about pebbles tending to zero in on clods is a good one, though. After all, a clod is the mineral/whatever most likely to put up with a pebble and give them the kind of control they demand. I've met a few pebbles, even been friends with one, although usually only whenever one of them was dating one of my wonderful, vulnerable clod-friends... Posted by: theboyfriend at June 16, 2008 9:11 AM
I dunno, Andrea. I just want to shake the clod and shout "smarten up." Nothing in life is worth pebbles in your shoe. Posted by: Mad at June 16, 2008 7:15 PM
You can slam the door shut on the people who betray you. You can never see them or speak to them again. You can tell everyone -- and even make yourself believe -- that there was absolutely nothing special about them; that they weren't kind or pretty or trustworthy or clever. But, sadly, that doesn't mean that you'll stop loving them with all that's left of your shattered heart. Posted by: niobe at June 17, 2008 7:26 AM
I agree, Mad. But it's hard for Clods to recognize Pebbles, I think. Niobe, sometimes that's true. Sometimes, thank the gods, it's not. Posted by: Andrea
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