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August 25, 2008 Ten Good Things About Being the Oldest Person in the Room 
(Plus the Monster at the End of This Blog.) Next week, I think I will need this list. Laminated. To the back of my hand. I will chant it to myself during lectures when it finally hits home that, oh my god, it has really been fourteen years since I started university the first time, and many of my classmates will be in the full-on throes of first-time-away-from-homeness. They won't have ex-husbands and kindergarteners and grey hairs and resumes. 1. I can talk about the Good Old Days. The days when we had to use periodical indexes to do research in journals, newpapers and magazines. Back when you had to show up at the library in person to search through card catalogues and see if the book was there by finding it in the stacks, before this internet business spoiled the young folks rotten. (I'm going to have access to a university research library again!) (Should that make me this excited?) (You do realize that I'm going to be using it almost entirely for personal reasons, right? Just checking.) (And you realize you'll be reading it here? Yes? Why are you groaning?) 2. I can shake my head, sigh wisely, and offer wisdom to my classmates. I'm sure this will make me very popular. 3. I can use Frances as a Get Out of Due-Dates Card! OK, maybe not. 4. I can suppress giggles when the young'uns try to explain to me what a blog is. (You don't say! A blog! Remind me to tell you all of how I narrowly escaped the Writing and Computers class. Writing on computers? Pollution! Contamination! Hand me my quill pen before I faint.) 5. I can use whippersnapper in conversation. Fun! 6. I can wear Mom Jeans! And when I stagger into class looking half-dead and complaining about how late I was up and how little sleep I got, it will be because Frances was sick all night. 7. I can be the person who already read the textbook, ten years ago while getting her first degree. (In at least one class this is actually the case. In at least one other class I have already read most of the novels on the reading list.) 8. I can be mistaken for the professor. I'm sure this will happen at least once. 9. I can persistently refuse to use the word 'random' in any but its dictionary context. Instead, I will say cool. I won't even pronounce it kewl. I will say cool. As in, chilly. This will mark me as a child from my era. 10. I can walk uphill to school in the snow, both ways. Except that I have to drive because my schedule doesn't give me enough time otherwise to drop Frances off and pick her up from school/daycare. Today is my last Monday at work. I have lots of draft posts on other subjects in the queue but the only thing I can think about right now is this back-to-school business. I expect this will be a school heavy week here on the blog. Wait a minute, did I just say that today is my last Monday at work? Dear Readers, don't turn this page! Posted by Andrea at August 25, 2008 9:14 AM under Change Addict , The Supposedly Mature Student EMAIL this entry (comments fields are below this section) Comments I turned the page. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, IT'S A MONSTER, OHMYGOD!!! Oh wait, it's only you, Grover. Thank god. You are much cuter than Elmo. ;) Posted by: Greg, aka theboyfriend at August 25, 2008 10:01 AM
Do you suppose you could work far out into your conversations with the whippersnappers? Do it for those of us who are slightly older. Posted by: Zazzy at August 25, 2008 11:36 AM
Hehehehe! I LOVE the "mature student" comment. How exciting. And terrifying. I have a knot in my gut from reading this post. Thanks. ;) Posted by: Kia at August 25, 2008 12:15 PM
11. You can and will overhear tales of undergrads losing their virginity on the weekend. You can and will witness someone barfing beer through their nose. Oh ya, it's going to be all fun and games. Enjoy the library. BTW, are you going to York. If so, I have a kick-ass librarian friend there. First name: Lisa. Posted by: Mad at August 25, 2008 1:01 PM
Greg, I should hope so. Elmo, indeed! ;) Zazzy, I'll try. Any resultant medical/therapist bills I'll send your way, ok? Kia, yes that is pretty well exactly how i feel. Mad, Oh good. Now I feel faint. Whew. Yes, it's York. I'll be sure to look Lisa up and tell her that Mad said she had to write my papers for me. What? No? Posted by: Andrea
#8 will happen on class days 1, 2, and 3. Possibly more. On the first day, everyone already there when you walk in will assume you're the prof and will be confused when you choose a student desk. Except the other returning students. (BTW, "returning students" is a euphemism for, uh, students like you.) When you walk in on days 2 and 3, you may be approached by students who blew off the first day of class. They will walk up to you before you can sit down and ask you if they missed anything. One possible answer is "Yes, you missed the part where I'm not the teacher. Park it, youngster." Use every available opportunity to embarrass the whippersnappers. Please. Posted by: amy at August 25, 2008 1:21 PM
Tell them you're really 19 and you have a disorder that has aged you faster. Not that you don't look older than 19 mind you. *wink* Posted by: LauraJ at August 25, 2008 2:42 PM
Squeee!!!! As one who has just finished being there and doing that, I have to say that being the oldest person in the room (including being older than some profs!) is way way way cool. Everything is just so much easier! Posted by: Liz at August 25, 2008 4:36 PM
How exciting! I wish I could be a fly on the wall during your first week!! Posted by: Miche at August 25, 2008 6:18 PM
I loved being a "mature student." It's fun to do the whole university thing when you really are older and wiser. I hope you have a wonderful experience. Posted by: TrudyJ at August 25, 2008 7:49 PM
My son asked me the other day if there were refrigerators when I was little. School! I'm so excited for you! Posted by: Jennifer (ponderosa) at August 26, 2008 12:35 AM
This list if fabulous! Kid L has used "random" damn near constantly for the past year; it is crazy making. NSBH started with it the other day. Kewl makes much more sense than random. Of course, this is coming from someone who wore a side ponytail to an 80's concert last night. I hope the start of school is great! Posted by: ccw at August 26, 2008 7:36 AM
Wait, you're going back to undergrad? That must be only for some prerequisites, no? I'm struggling enough with fellow grad school students: just this summer, one of them bitched (out loud) to the professor because he was asking her questions she didn't know the answer to and she thought that was very disrespectful. But then, I go to the worst school in the state. Hopefully, you haven't chosen as cheaply as I did. Posted by: Gwen at August 26, 2008 10:11 AM
Gwen--nope, it's another undergrad degree. It's too much of a change from what I have been doing to just jump into grad school. Or if I did it would cost just as money and take at least as much time. Laura--the mindfuck option! Of course! Posted by: Andrea
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About Me I'm a type 1 diabetic, witch, feminist, environmentalist, writer, mother, student and print addict in Toronto, Canada. The blog has seen the birth of my daughter, her many medical adventures, my divorce and return to school. The name of the game is upheaval. Subscribe
Change is God (Octavia Butler, Parable Series) "What is more mortifying than to feel you've missed the Plum for want of courage to shake the Tree?" Logan Pearsall Smith Email Frances! frances AT andreamcdowell DOT com You can email her mother too (that's me):
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