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October 3, 2008 Designer Selves 
"Even [Mary Choy's] appearance is in flux. Since 2044, she has been a transform, increasing her height by a foot, customizing her bone structure and facial features, and turning her skin to a satin ebony. But now she is reversing much of this transform. Her skin is slowly demelanizing to a light nut brown; for now, she is mahogany. The satiny texture remains, but will in a few months dull to ordinary skin matte. She retains her height, but her facial features are flattening, becoming more those of her birth self. She never liked the looks she was born with, but since her mind has undergone changes--difficulties she calls them--she feels it only right to assume a less striking appearance." This quote comes from Slant, a sci-fi novel by Greg Bear. It supposes that we have the ability to alter our appearance by taking a pill. It's not colouring your hair or wearing heels, it's being actually taller, having hair that actually grows black. And it's reversible, or alterable. The thread that emerged in the comments to my last post, about how often our outter selves don't match the way we think the person we really are should look, reminded me of it. I think if I were to take such a pill, I'd want skin a little paler--if that's possible, hair a little darker, a body that's more androgynous. I've never identified with the implicit femininity of the body I have now. But there were times in my teens I might have chosen to be blonder, with bigger eyes; more like the girl on the cover of the magazines who, back then, I was sure was happy. Isn't that what the magazines said? Wasn't that the whole point? "Look like this girl and the fabulous life within these covers will be yours!" There were times in my twenties I would have wanted fire-engine-red hair. Even when I was a young child, I can remember praying in church that I be given brown hair and matching brown eyes. Which never happened, obviously. My outside has never matched my inside, though the source and type of mismatch often changed. If you could take a pill that would make you look the way you think you should look, would you take it? What would you choose? What self would you project to the world if you could? Posted by Andrea at October 3, 2008 8:44 AM under Books , Change Addict , Me EMAIL this entry (comments fields are below this section) Comments I would have once. I would have gone blonde or redder, greener eyes, more curves (which I eventually ended up with, at a point when I would have traded back a few cup sizes). The temptation now would be to fix my weight, whiten my teeth, conquer my continuing shyness. But I'd like to think I'd resist. I also can't help but wonder if we'd end up with schools full of those blondes or other homogenized features if this were possible. I have to imagine it would be wildly popular with teenagers who would change their looks on a regular basis, even more fundamentally than they do now with clothes and hair dye and cosmetics. Would they ever be able to become comfortable with themselves or would it lead to a life of shaping one's looks (and oneself?) to expectations? Posted by: Mouse at October 3, 2008 9:32 AM
I don't know if I'd take the pill. On the one hand, I've always been of the mind that we take our looks too seriously and that playing with our looks -- by dying our hair, wearing makeup, getting outrageous haircuts, putting on funky, or just plain different from everyday, clothes, etc -- is a fun and freeing thing to do. Rather than worry that girls who dye their hair are just trying to look like cover models, I'd want to encourage that kind of play (as long as it WASN'T permanent) as a kind of exploration of the multiple selves that many of us feel we have. So go platinum one month and dark black with blue streaks another. Dress really conservatively for a while and then hike up the skirt and get high-heeled boots. Whatever. So much of what we do is put on a costume show anyway, it might be nice to NOT feel fixed in one image that needs to be defended. So... having said this, you'd expect that I was one of these people who went punk and pierced in high school, the got all conservative in some corporate job in the day while loving to go way out there in the sexy dress and stilletoes at night. Bu no. I'm all talk. I've never really had the guts to do anything way out there. I just wish I did... I think if I could take a pill, I wouldn't really bother much with my outer appearance and I would just make myself a little more courageous, a little less self-conscious and a little less guilt-prone. And a lot more articulate. Posted by: Bella at October 3, 2008 10:41 AM
But if i took that pill I wouldn't be who I am now? Of those that I can really change? The hair...which I'm working on! Posted by: LauraJ at October 3, 2008 11:02 AM
Hmm. Interesting idea. I don't know that I'd want to change all that much about myself when I think about it. The things I'd like are superficial - long, curly dark red hair (which I could do, if I had the money for upkeep) and a slimmer body (which I'm working on via all. that. swimming.) So maybe I'd just like a pill that would give me a college degree so that I could have that piece of paper that would enable me to get a better job. Posted by: Major Bedhead at October 3, 2008 12:08 PM
I feel tempted to whiten my teeth and darken my grey hairs - but then I realize that products exist for that NOW, and I'm not bothering with them. I guess if the pill produced no side effects and required no upkeep I might revisit the issue. I'm pretty sure I would do something to my tummy. I'd keep the stretch marks, but smooth out the contours so it wouldn't show through clothes. (Again - we DO have the technology to do that, but at greater cost and pain and inconvenience. Are those the factors that determine why I've never even remotely considered plastic surgery? Or am I more attached to the authenticity of my flawed self than I realize?) Posted by: bea at October 3, 2008 12:21 PM
I would change the bones in my face so that I look pretty without hair, and then I'd keep myself bald forever. How freeing! Not to have to 'do' my hair in the morning! I'd make my lips a little redder and my eyelashes longer -- I think right now I look half asleep most of the time. I would keep my breasts the size they are now, but with reduced nipples so that I could go bra-less all the time. Oh and while I'm at it I'd modify my teeth so I never have to brush them. In other words: I'd make my body as care-free as possible! Posted by: Jennifer at October 3, 2008 3:28 PM
My changes are all superficial. I would make myself 2 inches taller, shave some off my outer thighs, and have teeth that are always white. Had I answered this question even a few years ago my list would be much longer. Posted by: ccw at October 7, 2008 2:36 PM
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About Me I'm a type 1 diabetic, witch, feminist, environmentalist, writer, mother, student and print addict in Toronto, Canada. The blog has seen the birth of my daughter, her many medical adventures, my divorce and return to school. The name of the game is upheaval. Subscribe
Change is God (Octavia Butler, Parable Series) "Living at risk is jumping off the cliff and building your wings on the way down." Ray Bradbury Email Frances! frances AT andreamcdowell DOT com You can email her mother too (that's me):
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The title of this blog was taken from the short story "The Language of Nna Mmoy" by Ursula le Guin in her collection, Changing Planes. I won't tell you why or how, because I want you to read the story and figure it out for yourself.
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